Even though you want to become a PA, you probably have other goals such as getting married and having kids. So we are diving into that topic today! This question comes from Jocelyn. Thanks for your question Jocelyn!
Jocelyn: My question is specific to females desiring to have kids. When is the right time to have kids as a PA, still fresh in the industry? To be specific, I'm 23 years old thinking that I will be done with PA school around 26 or so. My goal is to have maybe one kid by age 30. And I kind of feel this pressure where I would like to get in this upcoming cycle, if not the next. I just don't know if this is something that should be even thought about or just kind of pursue my dreams and see what happens. Thanks!
This is a tough question. But I have some more recent experience with this since I have a three year old. So let's talk about what you should be thinking about if you're concerned about whether or not you can become a PA and still have the life you're envisioning as far as having kids. Now, I don't feel like this is a topic that is solely for females. If you are a guy, your wife may be thinking about kids more than you are or maybe you are too. It's okay to want to plan out your future. I tend to plan and really think about things in advance. So I'm with you if this is something that you are concerned about. Now, there's a few things to consider.
First of all, I think I learned this from personal experience; there's no good time to start a family and have kids. You can plan it and think about it, but things may not go the way you planned. Something’s always going to come up; it's going to be the next thing. For example, starting school, moving cities, getting a new job, getting a different job, someone’s wedding, vacation. There is always going to be an excuse, and there is always going to be something preventing you from starting a family. Eventually, you kind of just have to make the decision that now's the time. It's now or never. Just go for it!
Now, for a little background on me. If you've watched some of my videos or listened to some other podcasts, you've heard that I got married while I was in PA school. And that's not something that's typically recommended. But to me, it was important. My husband and I met in high school, went to the University of Georgia together, both biology majors. We got engaged right at the end of senior year. Then we both went to school. I went straight to PA school, and he went to medical school. For us, we didn’t want to wait so many years to get married until all of our training was done. We just had to make a decision, and that was to get married during school with a shorter honeymoon. It meant that it was a little bit stressful, and I wasn't quite as involved in the planning as I wanted to be (Thanks, Mom!). But for us, it made sense.
When we had been married for five years, we started thinking about kids. I'm steady in my job. My husband had finished med school and was in residency. When's the best time? Do we wait until he's done with residency? But then is he going to do a fellowship? He's going to be starting a new job, is that a good time? I'm in my job, is that okay? I feel like I'm finally established - is okay for me to take a step back and take time off to be with a new baby? Essentially, we just decided that it probably was the right time, and it wouldn't be perfect. But that would be okay. So last year around this time, I had a baby. And I've learned a lot about the process. Pregnancy teaches you that you are not in control of anything. I mean, you can't predict if you're going to have an easy pregnancy or a difficult pregnancy. Thankfully, I had a pretty easy one, if anything, I was just a little bit tired. No real morning sickness or complications. But a lot of things can happen, and you kind of have to be willing to just let it go and trust that everything's going to be okay. I think for Type A personalities that tend to be PAs, that can be a little bit difficult. And I definitely struggled with that and had some anxiety about that throughout my pregnancy.
There is this pressure to get everything done right at once, and do it all. Sometimes, this isn’t always realistic, and that’s okay! You have to take things step by step and really decide to you what's important.
Let’s break down your options:
Pre-PA: This is a great option. Like I said, pregnancy is unpredictable, so that may give you some more freedom with that unpredictability to adjust if necessary. Now that may push your timeline for becoming a PA, and this is where you have to weigh pros and cons with your priorities and what is important to you. You may be able to spend more time with them while they are so young because you aren’t in PA school yet.
PA School: PA school is hard, busy, and rigorous. If you talk to any new PA students, usually they they are completely overwhelmed. Personally, I can't imagine having kids while I was in PA School. I would’ve done it because then that would’ve been my new normal. But I don't know if it's something I would have actually chosen because it would definitely have been tough. During PA school, you would need a ton of support. This also depends on school set-up because some programs have very strict policies. For my school, you could not miss class unless you had a doctor's note. And even then, it was very, very looked down upon. That being said, I never missed a day of PA school. So with pregnancy, there are many appointments, and you may not feel good at times. With that unpredictability, that may cause you to miss some classes. Your school may ask you to take a leave of absence or extend your time in the program due to this.
Side note: If you go to the PA forums, there are some stories there. The PA Cafe is a blog specifically for PA moms and PA student moms. And we have an interview with the creator of that from a while back. But that's a good place to check to just to hear other stories from other people and see if you find something that you relate to. So in my class, nobody got pregnant and gave birth during school. A girl in the class above me got pregnant while on rotations. She was actually due the week after she took her PANCE. So she graduated, took the PANCE a week later, and then had her baby a week after that. I remember asking her about rotations, and she said the expectations for her were the same as any other student, despite being very pregnant. So for example, in surgery, you may be expected to stand for hours and hours, but that’s may be very difficult while you are pregnant. But that's something that you've got to just take into account and be ready for it. That's what happens. There are some Instagram accounts of PA students who have had babies, and it’s possible. You don't necessarily have to put that on hold!
After PA school: This is what I did, and that's what most of my friends have done too. Right after PA school, we had just a bunch of weddings. And then a few years later, a bunch of PA babies were born! I wouldn't change anything about how I did things. Maybe if anything, I would have had her sooner because it seems like my baby has just been a part of our lives. And I can't imagine her not being here. So I love it! Actually, I was that person who's always like, “I'm going to be ready to go straight back to work. And I'm going to want to have such a short maternity leave.” That’s definitely not true now. I want to spend every single second with her, and even now when I get home, the first thing I want to do is give her a hug. You have to think also about finances and being financially stable. I don't think babies are quite as expensive as everyone makes it seem. There are definitely ways to save money! I have a true baby clothes addiction, so I'm probably not the best person to speak on that haha.
Keep in mind that the other thing about having a baby, either in PA school or as a working PA, is that you’ve got to have a plan in place for childcare and support. What are you going to do if your baby is sick, or if your sitter cancels? I work as a dermatology PA, and I have 35 patients on my schedule! That would be tough to move everyone. I would absolutely do it if I had to, but thankfully I have parent-in-laws who are willing to help out if something comes up.
Whatever decision you make, it'll be the right one, and it'll be fine! And you'll have a sweet little baby who you love. And that's all that really matters. So you gotta decide what works best for you. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments! And just shoot me a message on Instagram. Let me know your thoughts and what you did. If you have a story about how you became a parent before, during, or after PA school, please share it. I hope this was helpful and answered the question! Thank you for reading.
